


God kens best? Aye right

by LowlandSassanach



Series: Faith lives [2]
Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon, X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: F/M, Married Couple, Miscarriage, baby loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 15:33:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18123134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LowlandSassanach/pseuds/LowlandSassanach
Summary: A look into Murtagh and Lucy losing their first child.





	God kens best? Aye right

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My friend, share your grief](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17385716) by [LowlandSassanach](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LowlandSassanach/pseuds/LowlandSassanach). 



> I own nothing but Lucy.

Lucy sat on the privvy at Lallybroch, tears making their way down her cheeks as she could see the blood on her bloomers. 

Murtagh was away with Jamie tilling the land and Jenny was banging on the privvy door. "Are ye gonnae be in there all day Lucy? There's other people to get in as well you ken?" Lucy came to herself and stopped the tears a little.

"I'm coming." She closed her eyes, if she'd stopped the tears then they were still in her voice. 

"Ye alright?" Jenny opened the door and gasped when she saw the blood, "Claire! Claire, yer needed." That was the last thing that Lucy needed.

Claire has such compassion in her eyes that Lucy can't bear it. "Let's get you inside where I can properly examine you, huh?"

In the field, Jamie was smiling at Murtagh, "ye looking forward to the bairn?" Murtagh smiled widely.

"Aye, we hadna thought we'd be parents so soon but we've come round." 

Jamie laughed, "Ye didna think ye'd be parents so soon? Yer wedding night was near enough 24 hours!"

"Och, wheest." Murtagh was stern in his words but he laughed right after he spoke, "I suppose ye have a point." Jamie grinned at him smugly, "One!" He chuckled and went back to plowing before looking up, "Why's Jenny running tae us like the devil himself is chasing her?" 

Jenny ran to Murtagh, "Ye need to come quickly. It's Lucy." Jenny didn't need to explain further and Murtagh took off running back to the house with the Fraser siblings hot on his heels.

Claire was with Lucy, 'can't be good if Claire was looking after her.' He shook out the thought from his head and went over to her, Lucy was distraught and practically flew into his arms. He looked to Claire for an explanation.

"The baby..." Lucy's arms tightened around him and she sobbed harder. "it's gone..." Murtagh started breathing heavier.

"No, no. It canna be. This morning we were talkin names, how could it be taken so soon?" He pulled Lucy close, they had been working on a nursery for the bairn, she was inconsolable.

"It can happen in seconds. I'm so sorry, Murtagh...Lucy." Claire looked at her husband, they had almost lost Faith and there was the air of death around the place.

Jenny sat and put a hand on Lucy's shoulder, "God kens best. And He'll gi ye another bairn when the time is right..."

Lucy became furious, "The time was right now." her hands flew to her stomach, the tears wouldn't stop flowing down her cheeks. "If God thinks that taking this baby from us was the right thing to do then I don't want anything to do with Him." Her bottom lip quivered, Murtagh stood and moved out of the room. "Murtagh, where are you going?" Jamie followed Murtagh. "Don't leave me, please." She sobbed into the pillow as Jenny and Claire started to help her get ready.

Jamie finally caught up with Murtagh in the field they were working in before, he was obviously heartbroken and taking it out on the field. "Murtagh, stop. I ken ye've lost a bairn but..." He tried to keep his next point light, "yer plowing a gouge a foot deep, nothing will grow." Murtagh threw the plow to the ground and screamed into the air. "It's alright. Ye can let it all out." Jamie pat his back, Murtagh started violently.

"Dinna touch me, Jamie." He sobs. "I couldna protect Lucy, or our bairn...I'm useless tae them...that's why I ran away, ye ken? Lucy deserves better than me." he put his head in his hands and sobbed. 

"Well, I'll no argue wi ye on that. Hell, Claire deserves better than me I think, but yer who Lucy chose. And I think she needed ye back there." He looked down, "Look, ye're both in the raw stages o' grief. Go back and help yer wife through it. I ken she needs ye." He clapped his godfather on the back as they walked back to the house, "But ye ken ye've a lot o' groveling to do before she'll forgive ye for running off." Murtagh just nods, too far lost in his grief.

Lucy looked up when her husband entered the bedroom, "Don't! Don't come in here and tell me how you couldn't deal with your emotions." She was still inconsolable, "I had to feel our baby die within me. I had to see the aftermath." Murtagh looked away, ashamed. "You can't even look at me." She crossed the room and forced him to look at her, "Do you blame me for the baby's death?" 

"Of course not! Ye couldna help it. I blame myself. I couldna stop it from happening, I wisna even here when he lost our bairn." Lucy kind of collapsed on her knees but he was there to hold her up, he sobs became worse.

"I blame me..." Murtagh let her sink to her knees and wrapped his arms around her. "Was it something I did? Did I do too much around the house and it put a strain on my baby?" she now wept openly, "I need someone to blame, I can't believe this would happen without someone or something having a hand in it..."

Murtagh looked at her, "Ye didna cause it...never." They stay like that for a while, "I never told ye my favourite name." He chuckled wryly. "I liked Michelle for a lass, Micheal for a lad." Lucy's sobs turned to chuckles. 

"That's basically the same name, just varied for male and female." She laughed without mirth and leaned into his chest. "Scott for a boy, Jean for a girl."

"After yer parents?" Murtagh smiled, "If ye wish tae fetch them, I would have no objections." Murtagh kissed her forehead.

"I don't think I can go into the nursery...do you think Claire and Jenny would mind clearing it?" Murtagh shook his head. "And I know we'll have children when the time is right, I just thought the right time was now." Murtagh nodded and pulled her even closer. 

"Yer young, ye could have a thousand children if ye wished." Lucy chuckled, the laugh not quite the kind that Murtagh was used to hearing but still, "a'right, maybe a thousand be too much. But my point still stands that there's still time" Lucy yawned, tired from the day's events. Murtagh picked her up and carried her to the bed. "Sleep." he tucked her in and made to leave but she grabbed his hand. "Alright, I'll lie in bed wi ye. But ye should know I am not in the least bit tired." She smiled as he crawled in next to her and rested her head against his chest and eventually her breathing evened out.


End file.
